And I breathed.
I breathed through the pain of loss that I lived with each and every day. I breathed through the fear that, before long, all the memories of her would fade to nothing, leaving me with a black void where her face used to be.
As another bolt of lightning struck ground, I held the angel’s hand tighter; this simple act of wrapping her fingers in mine, calmed the storm inside, even as the storm raged outside in the sky above.
Leaning back against the legs of the angel, I kept hold of her hand and gripped the rosary to my chest. The thunder boomed loud.
Closing my eyes, I let the memories of the angel seep in…
Thunder clapped in the sky and I jerked awake in my bed. The rain pounded the tin roof and walls, and I shook in fear—the drops sounded just like the bullets that the Heighters’ shot outside.
Counting to ten, I quickly pushed the thin comforter off my body and jumped out of bed. A flash of lightning lit up my room, and only seconds later, a loud clap of thunder boomed in the sky, shaking our trailer.
My feet ran forward, my heart beating fast. I ran into the living room, but it was empty. Austin and Axel were still out with the Heighters, but I knew my mamma would be here. She never left me alone. She worked real hard at her three jobs, but when Austin and Axel went out to make some cash, Mamma always stayed close by.
They were my favorite nights, when my mamma would read to me in bed. She’d stroke my hair, and she’d sing—I loved her pretty singing. When she sang, I would smile. I didn’t smile often. In fact, neither of my brothers nor my mamma smiled all that much.
But I did when she sang. When she rocked me in her arms.
Lightning struck again, and I ran down the narrow hallway toward my mamma’s room before the thunder could boom. Reaching the door, I quietly turned the knob. Mamma’s room was real dark, but there was a small candle lit at the side of the room, next to one of the lightning bug jars we’d made yesterday when mamma couldn’t pay to keep the lights on. I crept inside, and behind the door, kneeling beside the bed, was Mamma.
She was praying.
She did that a lot.
When the thunder clapped again, I ran right toward the bed. Mamma lifted her head.
And then she smiled at me.
“Mia luna, vieni qua.” She got to her feet and held out her arms. I ran forward, and the minute I wrapped my arms around her waist, I felt better. Mamma always made me feel better.
“Mamma,” I said quietly, “the thunder. It’s too loud, it’s hurting my ears. I’m… I’m scared.”
“Shh…” she whispered and pressed a kiss to the top of my head. “It is only the Roman Gods showing the world they’re still here.”
I pulled back and frowned. “Roman Gods? But you only believe in one God, Mamma.”
Mamma pulled me down to sit beside her on her bed and she laughed. “I do, mia luna. But your nonna used to say that thunder was nothing to be scared of. That it was simply the old Roman Gods making sure nobody forgot about them up in the heavens.” She laughed and pulled me closer. “I used to imagine them having a party. Having too much vino and stamping their feet.”
I laughed, imagining all the giant Gods sitting around a table, laughing and drinking—getting drunk. Mamma squeezed me hard, and this time, when the thunder clapped above us, I felt no fear. Because it was only the Roman Gods letting the world know they were still here.
Mamma shifted on the bed and lay down, tucking me into her side. Her hand began running through my messy hair and her rosary dangled from her other hand. I stared at the brown beaded rosary with the large silver cross, as it hovered before my face. “What were you praying about, Mamma? When I came in, what were you praying for?”
Mamma froze beside me, and I heard her breathing hitch. Mamma’s arms tightened around me, and when I looked up, I saw tears falling down her cheeks. It made my stomach churn. I… I didn’t like it.
“Mamma?” I whispered, my voice cracking at the sight of the tears. “What’s wrong?”
Mamma sniffed, and glancing away, finally looked back to me. “Nothing, mia luna.”
I lifted further, and pressed my hand on Mamma’s face. Her cheeks were all wet. “But you’re crying. You don’t cry for nothing.”
Mamma’s face fell, and she crushed me to her chest. “I was praying, mia luna,” she said after minutes of saying nothing. “I was praying to the Lord, to Mother Mary, to help us and I got teary eyed. Because I found something out today that has upset me, and even made me a little bit scared.”
“What made you upset and scared?” I asked, feeling my stomach twist and turn.
Mamma smiled against my head and stroked through my hair. “Nothing for you to worry about, mia luna. This is my burden, not yours. You’re my baby, my big seven year old brave boy.”